Arianna Huffington Spoke to Me Today

Well, not just to me... I attended a talk today held by Arianna Huffington. She is a very beautiful, witty, and accomplished (cough, cough deal with AOL) woman. I know some people really give her hell, but dammit, I like her. 

Not because she is an unabashed conservative turned liberal, not because she is media royalty, but because she gave me some really solid advice. Here is what I learned from Madame Huffington today: 


1. Don't worry so damn much. Alice Caldwell Rice once said, "It ain't no use putting up your umbrella till it rains!" Women have the tendency to worry about every thing -- work, family, friends, pets, plans, strangers on the street. If you aren't aware, you can be in a constant state of worry. That's me all the way, half my freakin' problems are things that haven't happened yet (most of which never do). So cut it out, focus on what you can do today and what you have control over. Problems are rarely as bad as we worry they will be. 


2. Get some sleep. Arianna told us a story about how she was so exhausted, overworked / stressed etc., that she fainted at her desk one day and fractured her cheek bone and almost lost an eye. If that doesn't scare you into getting more sleep, believe the truth that when you are sleep deprived, your brain is not working at its best. So your ideas aren't as innovative, your analysis isn't as comprehensive, and you stop making any sense to the people around you. Don't charge your phone/laptop/ipad by your bed side, you'll find yourself waking up throughout the night to check on things that will be there in the morning. Charge your devices in another room and go to sleep at night. 


3. Stop listening so much to your inner critic. We all have one, that voice that tells us we aren't smart enough, pretty enough, charming enough. The voice that tells us we need to lose weight, wear a shit-ton of make-up, have better etiquette, date the a*hole because we can't do any better -- that voice, that inner critic, throw that bitch out with the garbage. You are a wonderful person with much to offer the world, but no one is going to believe that until you do. Censor your inner critic until she knows she is only welcomed to speak at guest appearances that solely comedic in nature (after all, you have to be able to laugh at yourself sometimes).


Thanks Arianna, I needed this little reminder today.  

How to crack the Twitter Code

So I am doing a bit of a research experiment --- via a usability test and contextual interview (I love my Marketer speak) --- via the human male who lives in my apartment. My boyfriend has decided to begin tweeting. The infamous Twitter now has a permanent presence in my home. We were sitting on the couch one Tuesday night (tonight) enjoying some rum and pink lemonade, trying to forget the troubles of the day, when the subject of his experience on Twitter came up. Here is what we discussed: 


Me: When did you first start tweeting? 
Boyfriend (BF): About a week ago, but I've been reading tweets for about two months now. 


Me: So do you consider yourself a conversationalist or a spectator? 
BF: I am definitely more of a spectator, I am still trying to get used to the rules. But in the future I plan to be more of a conversationalist. Also my workstation at my job blocks Twitter so it makes it difficult to get used to doing it all the time.  


(So at this point he knows I am interviewing him for my blog, so now he is on a "real" interview --- bore bore / snore snore!)


Me: So, this is my blog, you need to keep it real. What are you getting out of this Twitter experience? Why tweet in the first place? I am going to stop writing and just listen for a while, what's this whole twitter thing about anyway? 
BF: As you know, I am getting ready to start business school in the fall. I am over my job and so I sit at work all day and read interesting articles and commentary across different internet sites. While this may not be ideal for my current employer, it's ideal for me as I prepare for my post-MBA career. So fuck it, it's interesting. If I weren't blocked at work, I'd use twitter to share these interesting finds with the world, but for no other reason than I find it interesting. 


Me: So, it's kind of a way for people to get to know you via your interests? 
BF: Yea


Me: But, what about the fact that many of your followers are strangers? 
BF: I think that's even better! The fact that they are strangers means they may be more willing to be honest because they aren't my friends, so they have no need to be nice. And hey, you never know, we may become friends later. 


Me: (Giving the side eye to the "friends later" comment...)
BF: (Tries to clear it up by adding an additional caveat) Friend meaning someone I continue to converse with via Twitter. 
Me: "Uh-huh"

Me: What about the BS you tell me you've read on Twitter, some of which from actual friends... what do you think about that? The fact is, it's not all about people sharing interesting articles they came across during the 8 hours they spend at their crappy job. Some people tweet ignorance and you are friends with them. 
BF: You have to define what you are using Twitter for, and get out of it what you want to get out of it. You can get cluttered with crap from people, but the great thing about Twitter is you can just un-follow someone with a click of a button (I have already decided not to follow some of your friends--your friends being the people you referenced as tweeting ignorance) 


Me: Fair enough, I acknowledge it was likely some of my friends with the WTF tweets, so I will just leave that hot potato where it lands... 


I guess overall folks, the bottom line is times are a'changing and people can share / will share every thought, perspective, fleeting emotion they can possibly muster up on a social media platform (hey, I blog, and what is a blog but a long a-- tweet??). The moral of the story is you have to find a place for it in your life and be comfortable with that. You don't have to be a tweeter, a blogger, a Facebooker, pick from the noise what sounds like a sweet melody and make it work for you. 


I will continue to keep you posted on my BF's Twitter explorations, at least the parts where he isn't talking about his boring posts about interesting articles, we will focus on the more juicy exploits on this blog!. 


#Notsureiftwitterandboyfriendsmix 


Tweet, Tweet! 

The Truth Is... YOU are beautiful, THEY are airbrushed

Of course we have all heard the saying, "Celebrities are airbrushed on the cover of magazines. You shouldn't beat yourself up for not looking like them." So yea, we all know it. No one is truly flawless, and while cameras can be brutal, the technology that can enhance the resulting images can be kind. We all know it, but sometimes are brains don't always factor in what we know. 


But I thought it would be nice to do this post, just as a reminder to all the naturally beautiful women out there, with maybe a pimple because of pms, or a wrinkle because of wisdom, or gray because between your boss, your kids, and your spouse, you don't have time (or the energy) to get to a colorist -- that hey, remember all of those "flaws" make you who you are, and that is truly beautiful. And if your kids and spouse ask you what you want for Christmas, tell them that Madonna's airbrusher for the family holiday photo would totally rock. 

Cameron Diaz

Britney Spears

Iman

JLO

Katy Perry

Madonna

Lady O

Scarlett Johansson

The Older Man vs. The Younger Man ... Ding Ding!

The other day, I read an interesting short article in Glamour Magazine on whether women should be willing to date older or younger men. The article was written from the perspective of two women, one married to an older man and one married to someone younger. In making their respective arguments. I must admit that both happily married women raise great pros. 

Older Men: 

• Are like walking encyclopedias -- they have lived so much more of life, that they are always good for an interesting story or fun fact
• Can offer good career advice
• Know how to make minor repairs to your car 
• Are expert back-rubbers
• Don't take the 'argument bait' -- they can see your moody butt coming, and will just wait for the tide to turn instead of getting all hysterical 

Younger Men: 

• Are 'presoftened' by the society of the last 30 years -- Women's rights, gay rights, he is just more open and more receptive 
• Are more willing to break gender roles -- again, because of his presoftening, he is willing to change diapers, cook dinner, and do laundry and he is more than happy to support your career choices 

Both sides of the article spoke to me. But here is what I think: in this day and age, with the divorce rate at almost 50% and more and more women reaching 40, 50 and still single (despite their efforts to find their soul mates), women need to be open to both groups of men. The older man you prefer may not always be the Jeopardy wiz or the calm in your PMS storm, he might be a stubborn bull who is so completely stuck in his ways, that there is just no way he can fit you and the things you want into his already rigid life. The younger man might not always be the progressive feminist, he might be the immature 25 year old that despite being out of undergrad for four years, is still the frat boy who does keg stands at your parent's retirement party and smokes doobies during his lunch break. 

So ladies, taste the rainbow. Being open to at least that first date. Try to take the age, race, height, etc. crap off the table for one evening, you may just find exactly what you need. 

I Ain't Gonna Play In Sun City

All this talk of celebrities that were paid big bucks to perform for Qaddafi has got me wondering -- is there really any limit to things human beings will do for money? 


So people are going to argue that maybe, at the time, the performer had no idea who s/he was performing for... I guess I can probably believe that. But I think I also agree with the fact that it doesn't mean they shouldn't be accountable. I mean, isn't that why you have all these people around you? Isn't it someone's job to do some homework / background check on the people you do private parties for? Even your neighborhood stripper sends someone ahead of her to make sure the bachelor party is on the up-and-up. Okay, I need to reel it in, I'm on the verge of creating a completely different conversation and blogpost. 


I think that leaves us with this: there will be times in all of our lives when a decision has to be made -- make the money or do the right thing. And sometimes, it's on all of us, not just the responsibility of the Angela Davis or the Malcolm X or the Mahatma Gandhi... No, the  the school teacher, the waitress, the banker, the lawyer, the PR agent, and the Usher's Beyonce's of the world also have to stand up. 


In homage of this important lesson, I leave you with a very special song. Sun City is a great song by the music group Artists United Against Apartheid. Sun City is an interracial gambling resort in South Africa, located in a bantustan, a nominally independent area supposedly ruled by black Africans, in the middle of an impoverished community. Artists who played there during that troubled time in South Africa were considered in defiance of the United Nations-sanctioned cultural boycott against the Apartheid. Enjoy + remember to stand up for justice folks -